Semi-Inappropriate

by Matt on August 14, 2006

Semi

Sandra_1

Two, no, Three Things That Don’t Belong On The Food Network.

Sandra, call me. We need to have a little chat.

-matt

Sandra2

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Tony Clark August 14, 2006 at 7:00 pm

I saw the program and was embarassed for her. The warbrobe was inappropriate and emphasised by the close ups of her cleavage. But, more than that, what about that little boy that was playing in the background? It looked like he was being held against his will.

Tana August 14, 2006 at 8:01 pm

What’s in that jar? Breast enhancement cream?

sam August 14, 2006 at 8:08 pm

I dunno – I happened to see her “Sexy Soirees” episode last week [research, ya know] and I have to tell you, she could not have looked more frumpy if she tried. She was wearing an ugly, ugly, frumpy fawn sweater and frumpy pants. I couldn’t think of any thing less sexy, apart, perhaps, from tinned-peach bellinis and ‘salad chinois’ (made from tinned chicken, tinned veggies and tinned chow mein, oh and tinned mandarin segments too). Blaergh

At one point she said something along the lines of “I am very lucky, my husband just LOVES processed food” as she put out a pack of store cookies to dip in her romantic chocolate fondue.

Now if she had been wearing this outfit for that episode it might have made more sense, but alas, she thinks that “weaving a little mood magic with flickering candles and Anita Baker’s Rhythm of Love CD” is enough.

Poor Sandra.

What will become of her?

melissa mcgee August 14, 2006 at 8:14 pm

eeesh.

i have to admit, i’m not a fan of sandra. i can’t watch her show. she’s just one of those people, and i can’t quite pin-point it, but something about her just irritates the crap out of me.

this is just the can of icing on the boxed cake mix.

kevin August 14, 2006 at 10:30 pm

There is such a Stepford quality about her that I can’t put my finger on. She always seems robotic and…well…flimsy. It’s like a veneer of a TV host lacquered over a rejected animatronic swan-bot from Disneyland’s Splash Mountain.

THEN, I catch a bit of this show tonight (which is weird cause I never watch it) and suddenly I see Raggedy Ann on radioactive hormone shots, shellacking coral in her garage and testing the melting point of silicone over a BBQ grill on the beach. I called 911 cause I started thinking there was a gas leak in my kitchen and I was gettin’ woozy.

David August 15, 2006 at 6:08 am

That, er…I mean, those…can’t possibly be real.

Lisa August 15, 2006 at 6:47 am

I just happened to flip to FoodTV the other night and this episode was on. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong but I couldn’t look away from the light(s). Thankfully, one of the dogs moved, which broke the spell. I was embarrassed for her and more than a lil grossed out. Does she not have a mirror in her dressing room?? I can’t watch Sandra.. the instant I hear “Now I want you to…” my eyes roll and I turn the channel. =)

tami August 15, 2006 at 7:14 am

I, personally, count 5 things that don’t belong on The Food Network: two fake boobs, two pigtails, and a jar of pre-fab sauce.

Can’t we rally against her and have her time slot replaced by someone with talent!?

iamchanelle August 15, 2006 at 7:53 am

yow! i need another cup of coffee before i can process that.

haha – “process”.

CA August 15, 2006 at 10:37 am

You know that “something” that’s almost indefinably irritating about her? It’s the fact that she manages to be Martha-worthy pretentious while at the same time opening a jar of Betty Crocker frosting.

And that she always matches her outfits to the curtains. GACK!!!

Mia August 15, 2006 at 11:51 am

Ok, at the risk of sounding overly kind and stepping on some toes, I don’t think the processed foods thing is so terribly bad. Then again I work for a food manufacturer so whatever I’m biased. Santa *Oops* I mean Sandra, the outfit really is unfortunate, clearly appeals to a different crowd than what worships at the organic, made from scratch, artisan, slow food alter. She’s for the people who still think McDonalds is A-okay. What I’m trying to say is I don’t think there is anything so appalling in teaching people to elevate the crap they already eat into something that might be better. Baby steps you know, until they can handle cooking with ingredients that somewhat resemble what they came from, they can make stuff that might actually taste un-barfy. And please don’t even try to pretend that you’ve never enjoyed a store bought cookie or jarred sauce. All that being said, I’ve never really enjoyed her show either, there’s something grating about her.

Tana August 15, 2006 at 12:46 pm

“I don’t think the processed foods thing is so terribly bad.”

!!!

Wow, do I ever disagree.

rachel August 15, 2006 at 2:35 pm

Is it just me or is she suddenly freakishly skinny as well?

kizzy August 15, 2006 at 10:34 pm

At least she’s wearing a bra in this picture. She looks extremely droopy on her show sometimes.

jeni August 16, 2006 at 12:09 am

I’m just glad those weren’t Rachel Ray’s boobs!

Tokyoastrogirl August 16, 2006 at 10:22 am

I think pretty much everything is wrong with this picture, her show and Ms Lee in general. Plus I hate, hate HATE the word “tablescapes.” UGH!

yoony August 16, 2006 at 1:54 pm

i used to hate martha stewart. before i was exposed to sandra lee. she should be put to sleep. at least cold bitch martha knows what she’s doing.

re: sandra lee’s safari menuhttp://dur-scheisse.blogspot.com/2006/05/critique-of-sandra-fucking-lees-safari.html

how low will foodtv go?!

Clay August 16, 2006 at 4:36 pm

She is representative of everything that went wrong with the Food Network.

melissa mcgee August 16, 2006 at 8:17 pm

okay – i have to put another 2 cents in here. for mia who made a good point – of course i have “enjoyed a store bought cookie or jarred sauce.” if anybody says they haven’t they’re either deluding themselves or they have waYYYYYYYYYYY too much time on their hands. i have no qualms about her use of pre-fab foods… but it wouldn’t kill her to do a little something on her own now and then. but honestly, that’s really not the point behind my (and apparently, most others who are commenting) dislike of her. she just comes off as the most annoying, irritating, grating person on TFN and her ideas are genuinely uninspired and not-very-well thought out. i would have to agree with the comment from yoony’s blog about only watching the show to make fun of it. wicked as it seems, that’s my only motivation to tune in to miss s.l.

and i too, HATE the word tablescapes.

Kim Carney August 18, 2006 at 12:33 am

Darn, I missed it!

Kevin August 18, 2006 at 3:27 pm

Matt,
You need to add an RSS feed to this blog. My poor old brain has trouble remembering to come see what’s going.

Tracey August 23, 2006 at 2:03 pm

I wonder if Sandra Lee is familiar with the lesser known 4th verse of the popular tune “Do Your Boobs Hang Low?”
Do your boobs expand?
When you spend a couple grand?
Do they falsely fill your blouse?
Make you master of the house?
Do you flash them every way?
Just like Pammy A.?
Do your boobs expand?

nika August 23, 2006 at 3:09 pm

Tracey ROFL! I LOVE your new verses for that song, so true!

Sometimes I can watch RR but ONLY when I put it on mute. I read the captions. But all her food comes out looking like yak puke, gets tedious.

But with Barbie-Sandra even mute doesnt help. An eye lavage and some ointment does help after an accidental stop onto her show.

The County Clerk August 27, 2006 at 4:20 pm

Uh… Gee… I really don’t mind boobs anywhere. Food network seems as good a place as any.

I think I need to START watching food network.

Sorry.

WTF September 12, 2006 at 1:39 pm

’bout time she hauled those bitches up from her waistline!
ROTFLMAO!

len August 7, 2007 at 12:46 pm

Are those cans real?

I don’t think so.

anonymous August 15, 2007 at 9:26 am

You know that if Sandra Lee was in front of you with those low slung boobs, you would have no choice but to ravish her. Those things are mesmerizing. When I watch her show I just watch her boobs swing back and forth like a pendulum, and any straight man is deluding himself if he thinks he wouldn’t hit that.

Pheel November 29, 2007 at 1:25 pm

Nika! You get my vote for Post of the Month:)

If her worst feature is making quick easy meals for a family and having big droopy boobs, sign me up.

I hate the ‘tablescapes’ also:)

Yermudder May 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

I like her boobs. I like processed food. I’m tired of morons who try to sell me on the “100 percent natural” schtick. Yak dung is 100 percent natural. Cobra venom is 100 percent natural. Malaria is 100 percent natural. Did I mention that I like her boobs? But I have to agree with one thing. Making a “tablescape” out of hubcaps and things like that is pretty lame. Nice boobs, though.

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