Dear Anonymous Gourmet Marketplace in West Los Angeles,
Hi. I hope this letter finds you and your store well.
I’m writing to let you know that I really like your deli. I mean I really, really enjoy it. Your interior reminds me of something in Europe, your prepared foods are delicious, your cheese selection is rather nice for being such a small location, and your bakery is pretty tasty. In fact, it’s tasty enough for me to drive up from Long Beach to sample your cupcakes, which were rated “Best In LA” by a local publication.
I must admit that they are delicious. We actually bought quite a few so that we could taste all your varieties.
However, I do think they may be even better if you remember to remove all sharp, small wooden objects from your cupcakes that could lodge themselves into a patron’s gums. Blood and chocolate, while I’m sure may satisfy a gourmand vampire’s desire, really don’t mix too well in my mouth.
Hey, I’m in the food business. I know how these things can happen. And I’ll definitely visit you again.