This is a true story.
Today as I walked into my office I was immediately confronted.
“Hey Matt, my mother-in-law taught my daughter Courtney to make homemade cream puffs! I brought some in today, would you like to try them?” she asked.
Why, certainly!
“Hey Matt, you’ve really gotta try this Almond Toffee Bark I made last night,” said another coworker.
Well, ok, I responded.
“Hey Big Boy, there are Krispy Kremes in the conference room,” teased another.
Not anymore, I thought.
“Oh! I forgot! She also taught her how to make homemade donuts! They took forever and they look funny but they’re really good! Have one!” screeched coworker #1.
And I did.
Do you want to know what’s worse then everyone being clever and crafty and baking and frying during the holidays? It’s being born without one ounce of self control.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, what’s even worse is knowing that you have zero self-control AND still buying an ice cream machine!
This is brilliant Matt. You made my day!
Amen, brother, PREACH IT!
*heads back to kitchenette for more cookies*
But you have a lot of other ounces, honey. And we love all of them.
: D
Nice copywriting!
Though,I wouldn’t mind being encouraged to have lots of cookies and donuts. Bring it on!
Hilarious. But in my office, I’m the guilty one, pawning off my excessively unhealthy baked good on coworkers in an effort to keep them out of my late-night snacking reach. And everyone tells me how they hate me as they come back for thirds.
The last time I was offered something by a coworker it was a piece of a duck neck. I had to smile and accept it, but such is the plight of living in China.
i would have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. god i can’t even TYPE that without laughing.
i like to blame the size of my ass on the people i work with, who all seem to be pastry chefs and gourmet chocolatiers.
brilliantly written piece. i’m going to print it and blow it up and hang it outside my cubicle.
These are the thoughts that are running through Ed’s head! I keep cooking up crap and guess who gets to be the taste-tester? He silently curses me as he gets out of bed at 5:45 am to go hike it off!
When you took those three doughnuts out of the box, did you feel the need to explain “oh, they’re just for a photoshoot for the blog…” ?
Hahaha… I am also the guilty one. Bringing in cupcakes tomorrow.
I’m with Deb and Yvo–I’m the guilty snack-bringer–in an attempt to save my own ass!
P.S. Matt–Might like to let you know that ya’ got a little something stuck to your face in your photo–maybe you can photoshop that out and nobody will notice. I’m just observant, that’s all.
I have little self-control around the holidays too. But really, why should we?
I am one of the guilty parties too. The goodies I brought in usually disappeared before noon by leaving it in our lunch room. Happy holidays and best wishes for the coming year!