Now That’s A Lotta Yogurt

by Matt on October 16, 2007

The Los Angeles Times calls it a welcomed jolt for the frozen yogurt chain. Fortune magazine calls it a big boost. However you look at it, the $27.5 million that was just infused into the Pinkberry Chain by Howard Schultz’s venture capital firm is bound to cause overexposure and give me an even larger frozen yogurt headache.

I like Frozen Yogurt. I really do. But living in LA (or NYC, for that matter) has taken a bit of the luster off of an otherwise shiny scoop. You can’t go anywhere without seeing new frozen yogurt shops opening up, and today’s news is no doubt going to make that green tea scoop with various toppings as ubiquitous as the green siren’s lattes and venti coffees.

But hey, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Having said that, I’m thinking we shouldn’t rest until a million yogurt shop knock offs litter every strip mall, gas station, and co-branded KFC/Taco Bell from here to Orlando. And in an effort to make it just a wee bit easier for you out there, I’m throwing my marketing brain into to the mix.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Mattbites 3-Point Froyo Chain Name Selector®. 

Use as you’d like, you can thank me later.


{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer Jeffrey October 16, 2007 at 3:32 pm

Matt, you are TOO DAMN FUNNY! I am dying over here! Tears of hilarity… Stop it already! No, don’t stop! Wait…

Anita October 16, 2007 at 3:33 pm

Mine’s called “Beri-Beri Nenah Cherry” :)

hubby October 16, 2007 at 4:22 pm


mia October 16, 2007 at 4:50 pm

How about tangy-sack with the golden cherry icon. A great service to the frozen yogurt shop with nonsensical name potential owners. Seriously it’s so over the top in LA I’m sick of it and I barely ever eat frozen yogurt, besides didn’t we all already do this in the 80′s.

Emma October 16, 2007 at 5:10 pm

I don’t know about the whole frozen yoghurt chain thing being in NZ and all, but your discouraged combinations are hilarious!

sarah October 16, 2007 at 5:49 pm

‘yo-lick’ is the highlight of my evening. thank you!

scottb October 16, 2007 at 6:21 pm

better yo-lick, than Fro-lick…
pink, crimson or mauve nugget, not so good, fast nugget that’s just wrong… But Happy Spoon sounds a little too off mark, and all too likely…

Very funny. ;)

Broderick October 16, 2007 at 7:20 pm

cream-swallow w/ a golden cherry please :)

Rasa Malaysia October 16, 2007 at 8:17 pm

LOL that’s really funny and creative of you! I could see some really naughty combinations out of the chart…and Neneh Cherry (!!!), now that’s brilliant! Hahahah.

180/360 October 16, 2007 at 9:44 pm

I love it! I just read we are getting a Kiwiberri here in Vegas. I have yet to have any of these modern frozen yogurt chains- I’m more of a gelato girl. But anyway… my name picks would be:

Deep Swallow or Cream Nuggett-

naughty, naughty ;)

marilyn October 16, 2007 at 9:57 pm

Who wouldn’t want tangy sack?


GREAT post; it’s definitely post-on-the-fridge-worthy.

Nicole October 17, 2007 at 12:00 am

That was great! I love to start the day laughing!

I remember the first wave of frozen yogurt chains when I was a kid (California). I loved it, mainly because of the topping selections like broken up candy bars and gummy bears. At some point frozen yogurt seemed to fall out of favor only to be replaced by the expensive “cold marble slab stone” ice cream places that started popping up everywhere. Again, I liked them because of the toppings (or mix-ins) and the ice cream wasn’t half bad either.

But I’ve always missed the frozen yogurt places of my youth. They were good, inexpensive, and a bit healthier than ice cream. Since I’ve been overseas for quite a few years now I missed out on the frozen yogurt revival so I couldn’t wait to try Pinkberry when I was in NYC last summer.

I stood in line forever before paying a whole lotta money for the most disappointing cup of frozen yogurt I’ve ever had. Oh well. I won’t be rushing out to try any of the others.

Unless, of course, it’s called “Sweet Nugget.”

Steve October 17, 2007 at 10:25 am

matt…. you are so effing brilliant!

Marleigh October 17, 2007 at 10:40 am

creamnugget is possibly the greatest name ever for a froyo stand. You sir, are a genius.

Seriously, this yogurt thing is out of control. Everywhere I go, people are eating pinkberry or talking about eating pinkberry or running straight into me (literally) in their all-fired hurry to get into pinkberry.

Am I crazy, or couldn’t you just visit the sad, lonely pinkberry of my youth, Penguin’s, and skip the lines?

isaacw October 17, 2007 at 1:25 pm

Being an Arizonan, I’m new to the whole “yogurt wars” saga. As far as I was concerned, TCBY was still the only yogurt joint around.

I did a little reading and found

and an interesting comparison.

What ever happened to being original…

kitchenbeard October 17, 2007 at 2:11 pm


And my icon isn’t listed there because it’s so totally nsfw.

Hillary October 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm

Hahaha. I am literally laughing out loud! I love it! How long did it take you to make this graphic because it is genius and so are you! Just for kicks, I think my froyo shop would be called happy swallow and I’m definitely using the golden cherry. Haha!

Nancy G. October 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm

Seriously?? That is flat out brilliant.

Thanks for the highlight of my day!

The Guilty Carnivore October 18, 2007 at 1:46 pm

“fro-sack”? Priceless.

Nobody take this the wrong way, but it sounds like a hairdo for testicles.

shaun.marie October 18, 2007 at 4:45 pm

and here i thought when the TCBY left my hometown in 1989, it was all over. how wrong was i?!

shaun.marie October 18, 2007 at 4:47 pm

and here i thought when the TCBY left my hometown in 1989, it was all over. how wrong was i?!

Graeme October 20, 2007 at 10:32 am

Oh the potential in some of those name combos, Matt.

Yo-Sack, anyone?

Froghurt is seriously thin on the ground in the UK, which sucks.

Michelle October 21, 2007 at 5:22 pm

Tangy (Nene Cherry icon) Scoop. lol that was fun.

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