By now you may or not know that my husband (I’ll never get tired of saying that word, more on California Prop 8 later) spends a great deal of time in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on a job. He and Mr. Smith make things pretty for Food Network packaging and spend time in a big giant beautiful studio. And me? I stay home, work and take care of my dogs, putz around my garden, take some pictures, maybe see some friends, but that’s really about it. Dogs are like kids sometimes and you have to take care of them first before anything else. They also dictate how much time you can be away from home without getting some type of sitter for them. And yes, I do actually get dogsitters for them. I’m whipped, what can I say. Heaven help me when I become a parent. My children will be smothered and hate me.
Because I’m not a fan of junk food or processed convenience items I have learned over Adam’s sojourns to cook and dine solo. Ok, before you shed a tear (not like you would, but it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to think you could) I’m never really alone because of my critters. But even they can’t replace the jovial laughter and clinking of multiple wine glasses and a table full of friends with happy faces. And I’ve tried, they just keep hopping onto the table. My dogs, not my friends. Well, a few friends have. That’s another blog post.
I gotta hand it to the people who relish solitary experiences in the kitchen and the table. Me? I absolutely cannot stand it. It goes against every single thing I’ve ever known. Food is my connection to the world and as a child it’s what brought my family together. And as happy and comfortable I am as an adult I still have a slight pang when I come home, cook dinner and sit down to eat. By myself. I just cannot get used to it.
Having said this I try to make it as delicious and simple as possible. I’ve thought about pretending to not be alone by creating something overly ambitious to distract me but then there’s a huge pile of dishes afterwards which only amplifies my solitude. And then I thought of calling friends over for dinner, but unless you’ve lived in Los Angeles you have no idea how difficult it is to have friends over on a weeknight at 7pm. A damn near impossibility.
Still, I do ok. Many times it’s grilled vegetables, other times it’s fish with a salad. I’ve been known to eat cheese and crackers for dinner, and I always find pasta in any form with olive oil and freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano one of these most satisfying. Then there’s a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which instantly puts me at the front of the line for my imaginary Lonely Boy Poster Contest. God I can’t even believe I’m admiting all this to you.
So now I ask you: What do you cook when you’re cooking for one? Do you have any favorite resources or cookbooks you refer to when dining solo? Because as luck would have it my better half will eventually return to another city for work, leaving me to dine with, well, apparently no one.
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Hello from Prague… First of all, thanks for your blog, I check it regularly and you always cheer me up
ad dining alone: since I’m single (although living with a flatmate/friend) and also work from home, I happen to eat on my own fairly often, and I must say I don’t mind. I have several scenarios for such occasions: first and easiest, get a takeaway roasted Peking duck from the Chinese place next door; second, make a large pot of soup (my summer hit is a clear, very sharp and refreshing Thai soup) and consume it over the following few days; third option is my favourite, but usually only comes as a treat after a long day of work: run to the supermarket, get a piece of sirloin steak and a bag of frozen green beans, and prepare a delicious late-night dinner in a matter of minutes, best consumed with a glass of quality red wine (all of these occasions are described in more detail at my blog, fotolga.blogspot.com – feel free to drop by!)
On the rare occasions that I cook alone and am not eating leftovers I go for a steak. Cooked to my liking and not shared with anyone. No vegetables or starch required…just the fat juicy steak!
My fiance is out of town now, and for the next 9 days (sniffle)…I’ve been planning what I’ll eat while he’s gone, because I’ll get the chance to eat lots of what he won’t. (This seems to be a recurring theme!) Pasta with creamy sauce, anything with olives, and a big marbled steak (ok, this is just a guilty for-one pleasure!) Also, it gives me an excuse to be lazy in the kitchen and eat Japanese ramen soup and Whole Foods sushi
Hey Matt! Here’s a cheery hello from sunny Singapore! I absolutely love the melodramatic photograph of you eating! Amazing!
Hmmm if eating alone, how about keeping it simple? The simpler the more beautiful it is. Think spinach tortilla wraps with rocket, iceberg, cheddar and ham, or vegetable stew with potatoes, carrots and corn?
I live alone and only cook on the weekends. I eat lots of tuna and crackers, soup, sardines and crackers, cheese and crackers—-hmmm I spot a trend here.
I love your blog and absolutely adore your photographs. If I’m eating cheese and crackers for dinner and reading your blog, aren’t I eating with you?
Oh dear. Well. Cheerios. That and a few fags and two glasses of cheap wine…and how pathetic am I?
If I’m feeling motivated I’ll upgrade from breakfast cereal to things on toast: avocado, hummus, feta, and those splendid little tomatoes, cut in half.
Just found your blog. Love it!
Matt:
I look to Mark Bittman for ideas – http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/18/dining/18mini.html
This is a list that gives and gives! I wish I could come over and we could share a meal. Ipswich is too far away. Much love. A
I hate eating alone too, but one of my favorites is a pita pizza: A nice thin pita with slices of tomatoes, some herbs and, of course, mozzarella. The perfect little pizza!
A bowl of Cheerios usually suffices too.
Fantastic photos – I would prefer to eat with my family, given the choice, but also do enjoy cooking/eating alone on occasion – with just my thoughts, and maybe a book to keep me company.
For the food, it seems to come back to scrambled eggs. Often with other bits thrown in (leftover cleanup), but usually just plain, cooked nice and slow, to a creamy just-done result with a big pile of toast. Why? It’s so good, easy, and maybe because as a kid that was our Sunday morning family breakfast, and eating it alone now brings me back to that just a little.
Oh, I seem to always be such a latecomer. Call me lazy…
I really liked those photos up top. Very film noir.
I often eat alone. My husband is so damned picky that my best meals are without him, and most of the time all alone at lunchtime. But to avoid my eating an entire casserole dish and a whole pie, I keep those solo meals to small sizes.
Anything pasta, obviously. One favorite is onions & garlic sauteed in olive oil, then tossed with fresh or frozen broccoli (and quite a lot of red pepper flake) until tender, add a spoonful or two of pasta cooking liquid and then toss with drained pasta. Finish with a quick squeeze of lemon and a chiffonade of prosciutto or cappicola. Delightful!
One or two lamb chops and a salad, maybe some flatbread. Or a pork chop. Think souvlaki, with some flatbread. All quick to throw together and so satisfying.
I do try to stay away from having bread in the house–I’m sure to eat the whole loaf. But as I’m sure you have much more self-restraint than I do, a lovely baguette with some eggplant spread (roasted chopped eggplant, onions, bell peppers, pureed with some roasted garlic and tomato paste, chopped cherry peppers to taste) is a wonderful solo meal, with or without a piece of meat or fish.
Even though I often eat alone, I detest eating OUT alone. When I used to travel for my job, it was horrid–I took many, many meals in hotel rooms. There’s just something so awful about dining alone in a restaurant, hearing the cliking of glasses at other tables. In Geneva one time I brought a book to dinner and ate as quickly as I could to get out of that lovely bistro.
Matt,
I always love that moment of realization when dining alone, where you realize that you would NEVER serve what you are eating to another soul – let alone try to pass it off as a wholesome meal. My personal favorite “sad-sap single gal” meal is my “Veggie McMuffin”! Day or night, night or day – english muffin poached egg and veggie sausage patty….it’s totally ghetto, but it makes me feel like a little kid every time – a complete package of fake McDonalds goodness…only healthier.
I slow roast a huge beef brisket with only a little salt and pepper and water, then I shred it and portion it out in baggies and freeze them. Then I have ready beef to make anything from burritos to carne in salsa verde to Thai beef salad … you name it!
Hi! I work from home while my husband goes off to work…so lunch times are my “meal alone”. I take advantage and eat all the stuff my husband doesn’t like: pesto, cream-based pasta, vegetarian dishes (I’m not, but I enjoy them), savory tarts, pancakes, brussels sprouts
This is so funny to read because my husband was just away for ten days and I admitted to him this weird meal I always make for myself when he is away. After twelve years I finally came clean. I never wanted to talk about it because this dish seemed so trashy. I got the “recipe” from my sister who I think got it in her Junior High HomeEc class and she made it a few times and I always just loved it.
It’s a very ugly dish and the preparation is pretty ghetto…
I’m laughing to myself because I can’t believe I’m making this public…
One can of tuna (haa) eated in a small pan, add a tiny bit of mayo and a good amount of ground ginger and a heavy hand of pepper. That will take about two minutes to heat and then just dump it over rice and add salt to taste. That’s it.
Yes..it sounds HORRIBLE…and looks even worse,but I love it!
I saw pasta carbonera on the list and that’s one of my favorite dine-alone foods too. Gotta love those comforting carbohydrates. I’ve also been known to make myself one giant chocolate-chip pancake. But I admit that to very few…
I tend to eat the things he doesn’t like at all. As one other reader comments, this can include things like anchovies. Last time he left, I ate (over two days) an entire terrine of liver pate on crusty french bread (with a glass of wine.) Hardly the high-point of my nutritional life, but more satisfying than eating an entire pint of ice cream.
Cooking for myself is tough actually. I never go all out like I do for the meals for the family. Usually I’ll make myself a grilled cheese with tomatoes. Or maybe some eggs or eggs in a basket with bacon and toast. Its hard making “fancy” food for one person. Most recipes are for 2 or 4 or more people and math was never my strong point.
Single girl. No rommates, so eat dinner on my own most of the time. Is it perfect? No. But I try to look at the positives: only need to satisfy my own culinary preferences. Don’t have to eat at the table. Can have the seconds
When traveling solo, sometimes eating on your own is hard, especially when everyone around is in doubles, groups of friends, etc. This past weekend I just took Indian food back to my hotel room and watched tv.
Things I like to make:
pita/english muffin pizzas, using jarred tomato/pesto, slices of veg, i can use really really really nice cheese, because I don’t have to use a lot of it. put them under the broiler and viola!
also, sandwiches of any kind are solid.
or just make a quick stir fry with a chicken breast, a red pepper, a small red onion, etc.
and wine, always wine. more for me when i’m alone!
My husband doesn’t particularly care for seafood, so that tends to be my go-to when he is away.
Other than, I keep a fine selection of (homemade) freezer pizza to toss on the stone. That, a salad, some wine, and the love of a few good kitties, and it is a fine little evening.
The pic of you eating alone? Very ‘sad clown’, lol.
Another one who lives alone and often eats alone. I don’t think I cook any differently when I eat alone – I like food whether someone else is there to enjoy it with me or not – but I definitely do less cooking. I usually make 2 dishes on the weekend, which I then eat for the rest of the week.
I love to fix a nice omelet with whatever I have on hand to add to it. Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorites – and since my family doesn’t love it for dinner like I do, when I’m alone, it’s all about breakfast!
Hi Matt!
Definitely going through the same thing over here in London. Boyfriend moved back to the States about 2 months ago and cooking solo was pretty hard at first. But I’ve realized that I can now eat all this stuff he doesn’t like! Tomatoes, cucumbers, figs and anything else fabulously delicious. I’ve also found solace in baking for my friends and co-workers. Something so satisfying about creating something delicious and beautiful to give away.
I’m a single gal with a roommate, but we never dine together. Almost everything I make is for me with my friends reaping the benefits of what’s left over when I see them. I decided that just because I am eating alone, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy nice meals, plus I don’t really mind doing dishes at the end of it all anyway. Love the photos!
I live alone and am thus forced to eat alone a lot. I also have a small kitchen which makes it a challenge to have friends over a lot to cook for.
However, I am a big foodie and so I’ve learned to make “dining for one” something a bit more celebratory. I like to experiment with different recipes, try different foods I’m unfamiliar with, and sometimes food that is a bit more than my ambitions can manage. I grew up in a large family so all of the comfort food recipes I know serve at least 5. So lots of leftovers for lunches/dinner for me!
when Im alone, I heat the oven, make some kind of cake, then using that preheated oven, make some kind of baked pasta with either creamy or tomatoey sauce. I use sausages sometimes and seafood other times. I did make a big batch of soup and eat it for a week but I dont recommend it… it could get depressing, yah? I really don’t mind eating alone at home. I have dimmer lighting and maybe listen to my good jazz and just relax… but I do hope you husband could make it back home more often
First off, thanks for this post. I’m totally cruising your comments to see what others have to say and get book recommendations, too.
I work second shift and share my house with a dog. Most nights, I’m home by ten or eleven at night and everyone I work with asks me what I eat.
“Eh, not sure tonight. Maybe quesadillas tonight with rice or I’ve got left over dough so I could do a stromboli.”
And it blows their mind. I go home and make a meal. Crazy!
“Oh, so who’s coming over?”
“… No one. Just me and Mack.”
“Oh.” And that “Oh” is said in the most sad and perplexed way possible, as if it’s just odd that I would go to the trouble of making a meal if I’m the only one to have it. Let’s not even get into the confusion that comes from me making my own Thanksgiving dinner. I’m always a touch insulted that because I eat alone, it’s almost insane that I not heat up a Lean Cuisine.
I’ve been doing this a while and I still haven’t gotten portion size down, so I’m constantly stuck with leftovers. Not a bad thing if it’s stew and I get a chance to learn how to give one meal second and third lives as something else. The leftover chicken tonight is going to become pizza. Also, I now get to eat everything I like and not have to hear about how “garlic is gross”.
Do what I do, cook for four, freeze half, tomorrow, eat half of what you made yesterday. Confusing but effective.
Nice photo (you’re not alone – it’s you & your shadow…).
My delightful husband is a musician so I know about eating alone every now and then. And I’m a very sociable person & love sharing food, conversation & good times with my loved ones, so it was hard at first on my nights alone where I didn’t have other people to distract me.
Here’s how I deal with it:
As we always eat dinner at our dining table, with candles lit and music playing (well, maybe not always, but certainly 95% of the time – everybody wants a ‘pizza in front of a movie’ night every now and then)…I make sure that if he’s away & I’m not having friends over for dinner, that I do the same for my dining alone. I play music I want to hear, I set the table & light the candles and I cook something like grilled barramundi or a salmon steak, served on a bed of baby spinach or rocket, topped with a salsa made from papaya, mint, coriander, chilli, tiny bit of garlic, spanish onion & lime juice. Or a tasty Vietnamese dish – either lemon myrtle prawns or turmeric fish. Or make myself a beautiful looking plate of sashimi. And I have a nice glass of wine. And then I have another.
And after that, sometimes I write emails or notes (letters are too ambitious) to friends I haven’t paid as much attention to as I should or to family that I sometimes take for granted, or sometimes I attempt a new art/craft project I’ve had my eye on but haven’t had time nor inclination to do (when I can be so happily distracted by my boy). And then I have a cup of herbal tea (or another glass of wine), put on a face-mask, have a bath, pamper myself and go to bed & read a book.
I usually just cook whatever I feel like eating and then save all the unfinished food in the fridge.
I’ll just reheat it when I’m hungry again.
Sometimes it’s a blessing that I can eat the same food over and over again!
Howdy! I’m a Texas girl now living in Philly, and I’m late to your party but still having fun.
I live with a vegetarian so when he’s out of town I go all things meat. Chicken fried steak, pot roast, turkey and gravy, fajitas, greens flavored with ham or bacon instead of liquid smoke, pintos made with some salt pork, etc. Oh, I just drooled on my keyboard.
I also watch all of the movies he isn’t interested in watching and stay up too late with my good wine (he doesn’t drink either).
When Adam’s home, prepare a meal together with enough to freeze some single portions for you while he’s gone. That way, he’ll sort of be there. Or maybe you could volunteer at a group home or shelter or find a social service agency to hook you up with a shut in who always eats alone and prepare a meal and eat together.
pasta with olive oil and freshly grated parmesan cheese-salt and pepper
also couscous with whatever is on hand
…or pizza
Hi hon,
So sorry to hear about your predicament. This is my first time visiting your blog, and I actually came across is while researching this very question: how people feel about dining alone. Especially those who are single, which I understand you are not, which could be further complicated if they’ve just moved to town.
As a single female living alone, I know all too well how this works. For a couple years there I tried getting creative, but it’s boring when there’s no one to share it with. So now I’m back to eating junk and fast food mostly.
So I began wondering about communal dining options where people choose to visit one another and share meals. This could vary from once a month to once a week and might be a great cooperative arrangement to 1.) meet new people for friendship, and 2.) share grocery expenses at a time when plenty of us are feeling the financial crunch.
And then I wondered if maybe single males who don’t know how to or prefer not to cook for themselves would actually donate to someone willing to come over and cook them dinner. For a nominal fee that wouldn’t exceed the cost of 2 dining out a relatively nice restaurant a person could have someone come by, cook and serve dinner, and then clean up afterwards. Do you think perhaps there is a market for this sort of service?
It’s just an idea. But the communal cooking arrangement could be as simple as placing an ad on craigslist or wherever requesting new buddies to stop over once a week to share in making a meal and getting to know one another. It might work.
On the rare occasions that I eat dinner alone I a)order sushi (in amounts hubby would unapprove of) b)cook a pot full of basmati rice and eat it with only some oriental spices (he doesn’t understand eating rice as the only thing). Before every single-dinner opportunity I think to myself I could cook all the dishes he doesn’t eat (allergies + dislikes) but always wound up with the one of the above options. Cooking for one is not healthy!
Whenever I’m dining alone, which I tend to find peaceful and relaxing rather than lonely and depressing, I tend to reach out to breakfast foods for my inspiration. My mornings are hectic, trying to get myself, my husband and my 2yo out the door and making sure the dog is fed, watered, emptied and loved takes every second and ounce of energy I have at that time of day.
So when I have some time to myself in the evenings I love to make the breakfasts I can usually only dream of: poached eggs, blueberry buttermilk pancakes, french toast etc.
I love it and it makes my time alone all the more enjoyable. I know I could pull these meal ideas out any night of the week alone or not, but I like to save them for when I am alone so I can savor both the time and the meal.
ramen noodles fancied up with what’s left in the fridge plus hot sauce
any kind of sandwich, toasted
pasta
tomato or avocado slices with S&P
jasmine rice with soy sauce & veggies/meat
eggs – fried or omelette
Your post was very familiar as I wrote about dinner for one close to this time last year.
http://devourthis.typepad.com/devour_this/2007/11/dinner-for-one.html
Of course your pictures are out of this world and your sense of humor divine.
I just love the connectedness of this food blogging world!
I love fixing thin spaghetti tossed with Classico Spicy Basil tomato sauce and a generous grating of a good parmesan or romano cheese on top. It is so easy and satisfying.
I eat alone all the time. Cooking for one. My husband doesn’t eat human food – he is on all-protein diet. So I learn to cook for one only. But anything if taken with a nice glass of wine, it is just as fun.
Hi Matt,
I’ve had to adjust to cooking for one since my marriage ended. At first, it felt kind of pathetic, but as I write a food blog, I figure I’m not just coming up with tasty meals for myself, I’m sharing them with the crowd.
There are advantages – I just have to satisfy my (excellent) taste and likings! I don’t have to worry about the “what else are we having?” portion issue and I can stall with photographing the dish as long as I like!
Catherine
I often eat alone myself, being the single guy that I am. Th ol’ standbys are omelets, quick stir-fries (I will always make time for fresh Jasmine rice to go with it), pasta and like many others, a nice bowl of cereal with cold milk! Hits the spot every time.
Eating alone sounds quite appetizing to me. I can’t remember the last time that I did get to enjoy a quiet meal. But, years and years from now, when my daughter is no longer living with us and the house is eerily quiet, I will probably be crying and wishing that she was there again, tugging on my finger saying “mom-mom!!” and pulling me to get up and play. *sigh* That makes me sad….
Well.. now that my last has gone away to college… wwwaaaaaaaaaaa… excuse me…I am reduced to “one”. She is only in the next state so I cook for her … I package dinners and freeze them for her. SO.. I try to save myself a few and now? I have myself a pretty good stash.
I use that seal a meal gadget which keeps everything so fresh. So..when you cook something..double up and freeze half.
If you wind up in NJ..give me a buzz and I’ll share. Love your blog sweetie!!
Hi Matt,
I found your blog after seeing you on Martha- I can’t wait to try the cookies. Anyways, you charmed me and I thought I should look at your blog.
Love the photography- you are very talented.
Now, as for eating alone…now that I am married with a baby, it doesn’t happen often. But when it does, I feel the same way you do. Food is my way of giving to people so I get very sad when there is no one around for me to cook for.
Yes, I have done the PB&J and crackers and cheese. I usually end up with a great sandwich or salad of whatever is in the fridge. I may also make a personal Pad Thai- an easy dish for one.
But I usually make enough for two- save some for my husband, so that I can eventually share with someone.
Cheers,
Kimberley
Matt, I have two favorite solo eating cookbooks: Solo Suppers by Joyce Goldstein and Going Solo in the Kitchen by Jane Doerfer. The first is full of the most decadent dishes you could possibly make for yourself. The second is simply practical and foolproof. You can also visit my blog, all about eating and cooking for one at http://www.asologourmet.com.
Hey, just catching up on posts…I am almost never alone because I live with a charming omnivorous child as well as a husband. But husband does his own cooking and occasionally cooks just for the child, and then I have things Just For Me. If I had an evening in which to cook and eat alone? Maybe a simple whole-wheat pizza (I make dough in the bread machine and freeze it in single servings) with vegetables, pesto and cheese, and a salad. Or a bowl of Espinaca con Garbanzos and a piece of baguette. I might put a lentil soup in the crockpot in the morning to eat after work–it freezes well and smells so great when I come in after a long day.
Occasionally when the husband is traveling I’ll slice up and carmelize a big red onion, add a little balsamic vinegar and a drop of maple syrup to the pan juice, and then spread that over broiled salmon fillets. But the kid always wants the biggest piece…it’s just so good. Usually we stir-fry a little spinach on the side. I’d make that even if I were eating alone!
Love the blog.
Hi, I don’t relate too much to what you say, because I have my wife ( not so official in Brazil, but she IS my wife, regardless of papers ), but we constantly have to cook for two. And only two.
We love the full table of smiles and friends around a good wine or beer bottle. We absolutely love to come up with interesting recipes that will make our friends smile. But we live in a city we don’t have many friends. I’m from Rio, our friends are all in Rio de Janeiro, and we live in São Paulo.
So, it’s only us, and our pets ( furry and water-breathing ones ), and it after a while, gets pretty lonely to come up with nice recipes, seek great ingredients, fresh stuff, to cook for ourselves.
So, as a photographer who loves food, loves to cook, and loves the social interaction and language that ultimately IS food, I can completely relate to you.
I understand this completely, as well. I live alone, and as someone who loves to cook (more than my blog would reveal, but I’m in a slump lately), it’s somewhat pitiful that I have a long-term boyfriend who has a very narrow, rigid and unchanging palatte — and I live alone so I don’t get many opportunities to introduce him to new things. He likes what he likes, and although it’s all very healthy stuff (thank goodness), it isn’t interesting. One wearies of grilled salmon, vegetables, and a glass of iced tea and the “no white food — if it’s white, it’s fatty” rule.
As a result, over the years, I’ve developed two habits. One, I experiment and make more foods that I know he’d never try. Pumpkin Lentil soup, anything with eggs, any comfort food from my youth.
Two, and more frequently, I developed a love of packing a really beautiful lunch. I joined the Bento Enthusiast Movement on Flickr and began collecting all sorts of interesting lunch accessories. My dinner isn’t often the focal point of my day — it’s more often my lunch, which I spend FAR more time (and money) in preparation therefor. My packed bento lunches both break up the day with a visually appealing and tasty break, and they let me have a small party in my lunch box each day with those odd little ingredients and dishes that my BF would not be interested in trying. A little gift to myself and always the catalyst for dicussion in the building’s lunch room.
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