Let’s make one thing clear: Club Med Bahamas makes you want for nothing. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that there are too many choices. Hungry? There’s food from sunrise to sundown. Thirsty? I can’t count the bars. In need of physical activity? You can snorkel, fish, scuba, yoga, you name it. And herein lies the problem: give me too much choice and I end up making none. Which I suppose isn’t a bad thing when you and your comrades decide to have long afternoon beach parties, the biggest decision being who to sit next to in order to catch up or who has the highest SPF. And since we’ve set up camp directly next to one of the outdoor bars the drink of your choice is only a sandy stumble away.
While soaking up the sun I’ve managed to consume some pretty decent cocktails. Both frozen and on the rocks margaritas, mai tais and piña coladas with an occasional Kalik thrown in for good measure have hit the spot, but it was during a drink run with the incomparable David Lebovitz that I discovered my new island favorite.
David appeared to be having the same dilemma I was having. When you can have everything you can’t think of anything. Does this happen to you? Luckily the ever charming American-Living-In-Paris came up with the most satisfying cocktail. I’m not sure if the bartender didn’t quite understand his request at first (you know there are a million and one languages being tossed around these resorts at any given moment) or if they were just being snooty but after a quick explanation we were both sipping on my new favorite drink. Yes, you could call it a Bellini or Spritzer or anything else really, but I’ve dubbed it A Lebovitz Isle. Why? Because you see David has this amazing presence when he walks into a room. Or onto a Veranda. And his legions of fans swamp him once they realize it’s him. Or that he might have a thong underneath his pants. And somewhere during this Bahamanian excusion this place has been referred to as Lebovitz Isle, as in “Welcome To Lebovitz Isle.” And if you think I am going to let you make a Hervé Villechaize reference and then point at me you are wrong. Dead wrong. Nothing personal against him and yes, I do look pretty fierce in a white suit but for god’s sakes I’m not that short. Am I? Am I?
You need French or Brazilian pop music playing in the background, a tropical breeze and a group of fellow bloggers all around you to make this cocktail really work. And while a champagne flute is best it’s just dandy in a plastic solo cup since you’ll be enjoying it at the pool near hundreds of Parisians in thongs.
1 part pineapple juice
3 parts sparking wine or Champagne
Mix both liquids together and serve chilled. Garnish with pineapple slices, drunk food bloggers, a camera crew, hot Asian babes massaging your feet or sand in your buttcrack.