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Ha. I like your stationary. And there’s nothing wrong with a Honda Civic. They run forever.
Err, that’s stationery.
Oh Matt, do I get it! Well done! Good for you for making the analogy…
It’s all good! You say tomato, I say tomato…
Point well made. That has been a theme lately for some of my fellow creative professionals…have you ever happened up on this site:
http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com
it is painfully funny-emphasis on pain.
Hey maybe they want to do my Honda Civic too! I mean I haven’t been on TV yet, but I do have a blog!!! hahahahahaha love it!! I am crying this was so funny.
Gutsy! We like!
I want to say that’s sublime because it makes me so happy, but that really isn’t the right word for your letter. Perfectly snarky yet very humorous.
Hahahahahahaha I love it!
I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I already did.
I’m rolling on the floor laughing here. You should just send this link every time you get one of those “work for us for free” offers that seem so prevalent these days!
Ok, I think I’m about to wet myself I’m laughing so hard!
oy
as a blogger, which tends to cost money rather than make it, I get requests non-stop to post about XX new product or YZ new service, whether it’s related to my site or not.
Nope, my cash, my site, my rules, folks. I’m a whore for pay, not a slut for free.
Too funny!! Love the diplomatic snarkiness in this letter
Wait, you mean you JUST CAN’T send letters on pretty stationary with hearts and butterflies and get free stuff? Man, I’ve been going around doing things the wrong way all this time!
For 20 years, I have had to wade through these kinds of great offers! Never heard a better analogy of some customer’s potential client’s largesse! It’s an ongoing dilemma of the craft. It’s a bummer… your letter makes our point — for sure!
Love it!
I’m going to point people to this link each time I get one of those ridiculous requests. Perfect post, Matt.
Gee Matt; thanks for touching on one of my biggest issues and the main reason I’m thinking I’m gonna rename my web dev biz to ‘Co-Dependent Web’ – we’re here for you if you have no money or talent to do it yourself and think we don’t know anymore than your friend with a copy of Dreamweaver!
I know, long tagline but it’s true…the lament of creatives all over; is it because services are less tangible than hard goods that they are so underrated? May be.
Love your blog. And I have a great opportunity for you . . .
Love it! Hi-larious.
Now when you get those types of requests (and you know they will just keep coming) I think you need to say nothing and just refer them to this post. Great job!
lol! ask for some rims too!
The biggest LOL I can muster!
Kudos my friend. I owe you a drink for sharing light on this annoying habit/request.
I fucking love this. I always give the example of walking into Saks and saying, “Really love this jacket, I’ll tell you what. I’ll take it, wear it and when someone compliments me on it, I’ll be sure to tell them where I got it. Wouldn’t that exposure just be fabulous for you?”
Or this one:
“When AT&T lets me pay my bill in “exposure” I’ll work for “exposure.”
Rock on brother!
Jackie
I guess that’s kind of like when shop owners in Italy don’t have correct change and they offer you a handful of plastic shopping bags or a handful of candy. I give them the Jedi Mind Tricks face and ask “Oh, the butcher takes plastic bags for meat now?” 5 exploding faces.
You are SO funny! I LOVE IT.
I was going to send my landlord a note that he shouldn’t make me pay rent anymore in exchange for me writing nice things about my apartment.
I’ll let you know how he responds.
(Can’t wait to get free rent!)
Oooh, this is definitely the start of a trend. I wonder if Apple would pay my phone bill in return for me using an iPhone? I mean, everyone will *see* that I have an iPhone which should get them tons of goodwill and exposure, right? So it’s only fair that I not end up out of pocket.
haha you’re interesting
. for pete’s sake!
there is an event going on right now that someone had the nerve to ask me to shoot for free.
um, thanks but no thanks.
i have plenty of tires, yes, but they are here for people with money, honey.
I just received such a solicitation: “You’re required to attend and pay for the event but we can offer you VIP status as our official blogging representative!” Seriously? Your humorous approach makes me feel less rude about ignoring them altogether.
P.S. Luv the hearts-adorned signature!
I get it. And I get way too many offers like this. Great point.
oh my goodness….THANK YOU!
I’m sure you get many requests like that, but is this by any chance in response to a solicitation to be included in a book being put out by some Australian company? I just got the same email…
I play in a band and it’s the same story there, that we should be “happy” to play for free because of the “exposure”. The problem is, many bands go along with that, thereby perpetuating and exacerbating the problem.
Gosh, I so needed to read this. Not in a very happy place right now…please let me vent. HUGE company with MEGA dollars sooooo wants a piece of me & my blog, but sadly they too have NO money to spend. Um where does that leave me & my confidence??…..not in a very good place. I will need to ignore their letter back to me for a few days ’cause my words would not be so kind right about now.
Thanks for letting me vent, I feel a lot better
LMAO!
Too Funny!
LOL!
Tracey at Tangled Noodle…I got the same “opportunity”:
“You’re required to attend and pay for the event but we can offer you VIP status as our official blogging representative!”
Uh, thanks, but no thanks.
Yesssss! Thank you!
Sarcasm at its best. And really, it works.
Good one, Matt. I had to re-read the article for I was not aware of the real issue at hand initially.
Snap!
Good job Matt… I read the article twice and I have to applaud you. Thanks Matt
Wow, this sounds like a great opportunity for Big Track Tires. In addition, if their tires are of good enough quality to allow you to sell the car for a large sum in the future, you can then share the ample rewards with them. You will both become very rich!
I love my 99 civic! That little forest green rocket has lasted me for over ten years.
Hee Hee. I know the circumstances are different but this reads like a letter I once sent to an insurance company who wanted to settle a claim for far less than the cost of repair to my vehicle. According to them my acceptance would be an act of good faith. In short I told them if they could find me a mechanic and a parts place who accepted good faith as payment I would be on board – until such time PAY ME MY MONEY! Next time I’ll remember to include the hand drawn hearts with my signature like you did as those really seal the deal IMO. Do you think an xoxo might be too over the top? RTOFL.
Good for you!
Oh yes. Yes yes yes! This is great. I have already send a link to it to a few folks. And funny enough, I don’t hear back from them! My dear, you may have a viral letter on your hands.
Hope you get those tires! Nice job!
Lovely. A work of art.
So excellent Matt!
On the same line of thinking, you have to watch this, you will crack up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2a8TRSgzZY
Very nice. It made me smile after I just got another free photo request from an American book publisher, which of course I denied.